Let’s get our girl terminology right then. The term ‘Frenemy’ is actually a word derived from both ‘friend’ and ‘enemy’. So what is frenemy then? You can actually use common sense if this is the first time chancing upon this word. Frenemy is a person whom you can’t stand, but tend to end up spending time with.
Weird huh? I mean, you will have tendencies to talk bs about each other and be mean to each other’s faces, but you call each other friends. The on again, off again and on again relationship is sometimes confusing, but exhilarating at the same time! Frenemies are normally the building blocks in friendship dramas, with so many backstabbing and cat fights waiting at bay.
So what we really want to know is, how do you deal with them? You can’t live without them, and you definitely can’t live with them! So we here in Kleio have categorized the Frenemies in Kingdoms and species and suggested ways of dealing with them. We definitely want to avoid drama as much as we can! (sometimes, ;) )
Grade D: The Copy Cat
Danger Level: Low
Symptoms: It’s not enough that she copies and steals your style and the way you do things, she has a tendency to rub it in your face that she does it better then you do. If you have a thing for dance for instance, she picks it up and start rubbing in about the performances she is getting and the complicated steps her teacher is teaching and drops a few snippy comments like, ‘How about you? You’ve been dancing longer than I have, right?’ It is damaging on your self esteem and often irritating. Though this is not really detrimental, she will just be really, really, really annoying. Or she may even tell everyone that you are copying her.
How to deal: One thing for certain, don’t ever stop something you love to do just because she is doing it. Even if she is better at it than you are, doesn’t mean she loves it as much as you do. There is a quote saying ‘Those who don’t love what they do will never succeed, and those who don’t enjoy what they do will be doomed to fail.’ If you really love something, you shouldn’t let anything get to you. Ignore her. Trust me, these copy cats find joy in seeing that look of discontent after a good bragging. Be mutual; and if you guys are tight, be happy for her –at least try. And if she is spiteful and does all these things just to get at you, she will get tired. But if you still get peeved by her, try talking to her and tell her how you feel. A true friend, (more friend than enemy) will back off and stop rubbing it in your face.
Grade C : The Gossip Queen
Danger Level: Moderate
Symptoms: So she spreads rumours about you; tells the world your secrets; and will grasp at any chance to listen about those nasty gossip about you and lend a hand in dramatizing and passing it on. To your face, she would put an outraged face at any mention about rumours about you –when you know she was a part of it. This really depends on the type of news she is spreading though, these type of Frenemies normally won’t effect that much to those who turn a deaf ear to gossip but will turn really nasty if it’s something serious.
How to deal: Well, one thing is for certain –you have to decide if you really mind the rumours she spreads about you. Then you have to definitely stop telling her things, like even the most minor things –like now. We all know that she might exaggerate it and tell the world. Maybe you should stop being the speaker and be the listener when it comes to both of you. If she asks why you’ve turned so quiet, say you are intrigued by what she was saying. Don’t give her a chance to have scoop on you. But if she still does it, talk to her and tell her how it makes you feel. If she persists, she is hardly a friend worth keeping if its making you upset.
Grade B: The Leech
Danger Level: Moderate
Symptoms: She sticks to you like glue whenever you have something you want. Whether is it cash to buy things or even credits to call, or you have the best access to concerts. The Leech will suck you dry and at the end of the day, she will just smile and prance off happily like she doesn’t owe you anything at all. Though you guys are friends, you sometimes wish she would use her own resources instead of depending on you and suffocating you with her needs.
How to deal: Being friends doesn’t necessary mean ‘what is yours is mine and vice versa,’ Put your foot down when she asks for money or your phone. Tell her you have worked hard for the money and would appreciate it if she were to reduce the leeching a tad few. Of course, you have to put it nicely.
Like, ‘Don’t you have money?’ or even, ‘Darn, I’m short of cash, some other time?’ A little white lie won’t hurt, plus it is also a very subtle hint to get her to stop. At the end of the day, if you don’t put your foot down and say no, she is going to take advantage and these people get very irksome and emotionally and physically draining for you. Learn to say no.
Grade A: The User
Danger Level: High
Symptoms: When you are at an advantage, (whether it’s that promotion you’ve just got or with the ‘in’ crowd, or your cousin has links to concerts and etc.) you suddenly find that you are so close to her. You guys are practically like sisters. You share everything; you do everything and practically live together. When your use is over, you suddenly find yourselves so distant. And she suddenly is so cold and barely spares you a second glance. Then you realize that you’ve just been used and feel as though you don’t have a true friend around you. And there plummets your self esteem and your mood for the week.
How to Deal: From personal experience, it’s really hard to identify Users, because if they can do this to you, they can definitely do it to someone else as well. You can’t avoid them too, because we all have our ups and downs. And when we are at our ups, you will find that you are suddenly popular with frenemies. My tip personally -don’t identify frenemies and identify true friends. Only benefit your true friends and friends that you’ve met for a long time –ones that you know the goods and bads and practically everything, especially when you are particularly useful, don’t give them the benefit of the trust. It doesn’t feel good being used trust me.